My Vomit Disaster : how I perfectly destroyed the blouse of an unknown lady
A humorous saga of my overeating
It was when I just got back from a quick weekend getaway, and I’ve got a confession to make – I might have gone overboard with unhealthy food. Blame it on being born too soon or not; I’ve always had issues with oily stuff and milk.
You see, I’m lactose intolerant, which means I can’t handle anything made from milk.
But for the past couple of days, I decided to throw caution to the wind.
First, there was the notorious rabri kulfi. I can still taste it in my mouth.
Then, I discovered this fantastic place near our hotel that served all kinds of milkshakes, ice creams, and kulfis.
I ordered a Kesar (saffron) Faluda and watched the magic happen. The guy filled a glass with faluda, Kesar syrup, kulfi, dry fruits, and gave it a good stir.
He added more kulfi, some extra dry fruits, and topped it with a cherry. It was like heaven in a glass!
Honestly, I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m tempted to teleport back there just for another taste.
But hold on, there’s more! I also indulged in a cheese-packed burger from Burger King.
Oops... Now I understand why my stomach was staging a dairy protest.
Speaking of overeating, let me take you back to a hilarious mishap I caused at a friend's brother's wedding.
It was the wedding of a guy whom I used to call my "brother." Let's call him Sunny. In Hindu weddings, the groom's family goes to the bride's house for the ceremony.
Their place was packed with guests, and the ladies were getting ready one by one in different rooms.
I couldn’t help but chuckle as I watched them struggle with sarees and makeup. Some aunties seemed to believe that caking on thick white foundation was the secret to perfect makeup, with no clue about blending.
When it was my turn, I kept things simple with a traditional Assamese saree called a mekhla.
A bit of CC cream, eyeliner, nude lipstick, and some fancy earrings completed my look. Everyone said I looked pretty.
Now, here's the twist. That morning, I'd devoured six luchis (fried flatbread) and a bowl of potato curry with rassgullas (a sweet treat).
They were delicious, but I usually can’t eat more than five luchis at once.But, you see, eating less at gatherings is like a crime, so I had to polish off the entire plate.
Later, my friend Vikz and I were sent to fetch a bowl of haldi (turmeric) from the bride's place for a ritual.
And guess what? They served us a mountain of food – luchi, curry, mini burger patties (vegetable chops), and tons of sweets.
No matter how much I tried to refuse, they insisted, saying, "Just a bit more won't hurt!" with a big smile. So, I gave them my best "dumb smile" and wolfed it down because my mom taught me never to waste food.
Fast forward to the evening, and we're getting ready to head to the bride's house for the ceremony.
Suddenly, I start feeling queasy, and before I know it, I’m redecorating a lady’s blouse standing right in front of me with my so and so elements I had in the morning.
I kept saying sorry, and she understood it was an accident. But the look in her eyes that said, "My new blouse! My new blouse!" was disastrous.
Now, back to today, I've been feeling queasy since morning.
So, in order to avoid a repeat of the wedding incident, I called in sick at work today and opted for a day of rest with a trusty bottle of ORS.
Tell me in the comment section if you ever encountered any situation like this?
